Death, Dragonflies, and Dinosaurs (dinosaur toys, that is!)
Hello from the fall garden! We’re coming off of many days of rain, about which I will not complain a bit given the devastation not too far south from here. In our tiny patch, the plants loved the drizzly days. Our pumpkin plant, unbeknownst to us, made a dash through the fence and into our neighbor’s yard. It did bring to mind a cartoon monster plant. As I write, the reemerged sun is giving the orange leaf-tips of our maple a gentle glow. The wings for The Kid’s Halloween costume arrived yesterday, so there is a five-year-old-sized dragonfly hunting in our home. Fall is really, truly here!
Observe:
Our garden has that scraggly October vibe. Some plants are overgrown. Some plants are dried out. Some are beautifully in bloom. The whole thing is buzzing with life. Hungry wasps, bees and butterflies have found our patch of goldenrod. Birds and chipmunks are sneaking the seeds and berries. Little skinks pop out to say hi, risking the fast hands of The Kid who desperately wants to hold one.
Here are some snapshots:
Read:
If you didn’t gather from his costume choice, The Kid loves dragonflies! We are still working to bring more dragonflies to our garden. One of our goals for the next year is to add water, which might invite more dragonflies. Who doesn’t love a bug that can fly backward and is a mosquito-killing machine?
We recently went on a dragonfly walk and the guide suggested this field guide for those of us in the Eastern US. I also ordered one for Northern Virginia to narrow it down a little for us! I love having field guides on the shelf because they are accessible for all ages. Sure, I can look things up on my phone, but my five-year-old can’t. We all enjoy flipping through the pages of a guide, though. I also encourage you to visit local nature fairs and festivals. I’ve picked up amazing hyper-local field guides at these events.
For the younger among us (or anyone who just wants a great overview) we loved Are You a Dragonfly? by Judy Allen. So fun and opens the door to pretend play!
Do:
This is a fantastic time, as a family, to think about what the animals around us are doing to prepare for winter. Bugs are particularly easy to observe and wonder about. Take a trip to a pond and watch the dragonflies zipping about. Did you know that some of them migrate south? Some overwinter as larvae in water? In most of the US and Canada, you can find a patch of goldenrod. If not, any flowers in bloom right now will do. Who is visiting? Where will those visitors spend the winter?
Where around your home will the animals and bugs spend their winter? With little kids, it can be fun to get down on the ground and look at animal level. If you have an outdoor space, how can you make it a better home for your small neighbors? You might decide to leave as many leaves and dead plants as possible. You might decide to add a pot of fall flowers to provide food and then let the dead plants overwinter as homes. Maybe you will notice little holes where animals live that you can protect from lawnmowers and trampling. I also like to let young children be creative even when it might not be exactly what an animal has in mind. If they want to build a stick home that will mostly be inhabited by imaginary bunnies, that is still a lovely connection to the natural world!
Fall is also planting season! Where I am in Virginia, it’s not quite cool enough to plant, but I’m planning. Gardens can easily become about consumption, so I try to start with a non-consumer lens. What plants can I divide? What seeds can I gather from my garden? Is there a harm-free way to gather seeds or bits of plants nearby? Do friends and neighbors have any to share and can I share any of my plants or seeds? Then, when I’ve exhausted those options, I head to my local nurseries. We are lucky to have Watermark Woods Native Plants nearby. Check for similar gems near you and look for native plant sales. Now is the time to research. Don’t forget to include the kids! Most kids love gathering and scattering seeds (just don’t plan for accuracy!). If you have space, can you give your child(ren) a spot to plan and plant?
Contemplate:
One of the great shifts in my garden has been accepting the presence of death. I think of this as a philosophical and practical exercise. Animals depend on dead and dying plants. Plants eat dead animals. We recently had a dead chipmunk in our garden. As much as I would have loved to feed him back into the cycle of life, in our tiny yard, it wasn’t possible to do safely. So I acknowledged him as God’s sweet little creature (please feel free to insert your version of secular or faith-based acknowledgment when you find dead creatures, lol) and disposed of him safely. It did open interesting conversations with The Kid, though.
Plants are another matter. I think it’s interesting that part of what makes a garden look appealing to us is a complete absence of brown or dying plant parts. Some of this could be a natural preference, but I think a lot of our preference is learned. We have been told to prefer green lawns and neat, green gardens. I think this is mostly consumerism at work, but wonder if some of this is our cultural obsession with avoiding death.
And yet, without death, new life cannot be born. We must learn to be comfortable with death if our gardens are truly to be refuges of life. Letting our flowers go to seed feeds the birds and other small creatures and grows new flowers in the spring. Allowing dead stems and leaves to stay through the winter gives homes to caterpillars, lighting bug larvae, and other small friends. When we clear away death rather than facing it, we quite literally clear away the potential for new life.
In the garden and in nature, we are able to see and touch death and to witness the rebirth that inevitably follows death. For me, I see part of that great mystery of which we are all part and it deepens my faith in that which is bigger than me. I think each person will see something different, but for all of us, there is an opportunity for profound witnessing. By touching death in our gardens, I believe we not only allow new life to thrive in our gardens, but also in our souls.
I keep my newsletters free because I want to support as many people as possible in connecting their families and homes with nature. I will occasionally offer extra resources with a paywall, but the main newsletter will remain free. I will offer some extra options that might be paywalled. Thank you and love to your family!